matthewk

i don’t want this to come off as a rant to anyone, because it’s really not. it’s just a literary depiction of what my brain is currently projecting to me. whether it be from sleep deprivation or truly deep thinking, i’m not sure i know. regardless.

there are an abundance of things i dislike about myself and the world around me, and people’s beliefs of why this came to be are more abundant than ever. spanning from my lack of a “god influence,” all the way to trite opinions such as the music i listen to. honestly, none of it is true. in the sense of religion, i believe what i believe, and that should be enough, however arrogant that may seem. i’ve been educated in christianity, and i’ve done self educating on other forms of worship, and absolutely none of them appeal to me. when it comes down to it, i have a personal moral code, and i know the difference between right and wrong, i just put my “faith” in the belief that the universe has a way of balancing itself out. this is not going to be a massive expression of my beliefs though. next topic.

i’ve decided that i’m going to return back to the days when i had a myspace, and i’m going to start writing much more. the only difference, is i’ve matured, and the writing will actually have substance, instead of meaningless statements tightly wrapped in metaphor and symbolism. at least i hope.

i’m off on another tangent again. there is absolutely no cohesion to my consciousness. regardless, i’ve come to realize one commonality among all humans, if you can still call us that. we all simply want something to hold on to. whether it be a god, another beating heart, or just an inanimate object to provide security. the most basic of emotion. feeling. in my short, twenty years of existence, i’ve come to realize that i aspire to become that, the sense of security. although i have a general hatred for our species, which i feel is warranted, i still see glimmers of hope. intelligence among the stagnant, dead eyes. beauty among the blackened faces. love in the darkest of hearts. i’m projecting pompousness, but that’s just that, a projection.

we’re all just projections. show yourself.

ask me things. i’m really obscenely bored.

http://www.formspring.me/matthewk615

i’m sick of almost everyone i know. this is where my pessimism kicks in. i just can’t stand the bullshit i deal with every day. immaturity and just complete ignorance. it needs to go away.

i want to find a place where no one knows me. start new.

i guarantee the bullshit will follow. everyone has their problems, i’m just becoming less tolerant of them. sorry if that’s selfish.

i felt like actually writing something this time, instead of just reblogging amazing pictures. i’m basically going to just ramble here. so bear with me…

everyone thinks i should write a book, just because my ramblings tend to have some sense of artistry to them. i suppose thats a compliment, but i ‘m honestly just allowing my consciousness to throw up all the shit that goes through it. i feel like it is chaotic, achieves nothing, and has no cohesion. i’m not entirely sure if that’s a bad thing, however. i’m honestly just exhausted. i’m sitting on this hotel bed listening to closure in moscow. i can’t wait to get home and work on my art and my music. i’ve been inspired lately, lets hope it remains.

i’m actually rather blank tonight, i don’t have that much to say. oh well.

maybe i’ll start adding excerpts of my writing on here. we’ll see. goodnight.