after all the pain i’ve caused my relationship interests over the years, i have realized that i probably don’t deserve to be happy. i have done wrong so many times, and i never seem to learn from it. i mean, of course, i do learn and make a conscious effort to be a better person, but somehow i always manage to fuck up.

i’m sick of doing that. and i’m so scared about what’s going to happen. most people think i give off a front of not giving a fuck about anything and hating everyone, but that’s really not true.

i don’t particularly like people as a whole, but the people i genuinely care for, i want nothing more than to make them happy, but i feel like i’m always falling short. this post was pointless, but i just wanted to get that off my chest. i guess, just know that i do love you, even if you think i don’t.

2 Notes/ Hide

  1. javex said: The funny thing about happiness is that whether or not you think it’s ‘deserved’, it’s there. It’s ok. You’ll make mistakes, people will get hurt. Don’t fight the good because of it. They’ll laugh as much as cry, and so will you. Deserved or not. <3
  2. matthewkocanda posted this